A Matter of Personal Integrity
by Hemel Lassie
Summary: Charles makes an important decision and carries it out. There will be follow ups to this as soon as I can get them written. It's just that this one is complete in itself. I am working on future editions. Okay?


A MATTER OF PERSONAL INTEGRITY

Charlie read the notice he had taken from his inbox with growing consternation. He spun away from his desk and allowed his sense of moral outrage free rein briefly. Sighing heavily, he got up from his chair, crossed to his office door, pulled it shut and locked it, so he was safely inside. He paced the room restlessly, thinking. At various points, he stopped, shook his head in consternation, picked up the missive he had received from Dr. Mildred French, reread it, turned it face down on his desk and paced and thought some more.

He paced and thought. Wrote some equations to try and express his dilemma in a mathematical way, enjoying the mental exercise that process offered him, the purity and clarity of thought it brought. At last, his decision made, Charles Edward Eppes sat at his desk, opened his lap top and began to rapidly put his thoughts on the 'virtual' page. As he did, the tension in his shoulders and neck vanished and a deep, satisfying calm filled his being.

_In the end_, he thought calmly, _there is no other recourse I can take. I can not tolerate this. This censorship, this insult to my personal integrity – there is no honorable recourse for me other than the action I now undertake. Hello, world. There is such a thing as an honorable retreat from a field of battle, while holding to a high sense of personal integrity. Watch it happen._

Once the letter he was writing was complete, he saved it as draft, ran a spelling check and grammar check, made any changes he felt were consistent with good English and good manners. He saved the amended version and sent it to his printer – four copies were to be produced. He stood and went to a closet in one corner of his office and began pulling out empty boxes tucked well into the back of that unit.

Setting them up, he emptied his desk, his book shelves. He removed any evidence Charles Edward Eppes had ever occupied this space. It took a long time. He had been at Cal Sci for a very long time, now. He fought down the waves of nostalgia and loss, liberally covering them over with his sense that what he was doing was the only right thing he could do. The archive boxes he filled with his current students' papers, which he rapidly graded, categorized, entered into the school computer system and organized in these last boxes to be filled carefully, meticulously. Charles could be organized when it was crunch time, no matter what his father or others might think of his housekeeping. He grinned at that thought.

As the final tasks were completed, Charlie felt only a sense of peace and deep resolve. He would miss this place, these people, his friends, his students, and the staff. They were more than co-workers to him. They were his extended family. Yet, he did not find closing this chapter as difficult as he might have expected if he had thought of it prior to taking the action tonight. His thoughts were only that he must complete this task as morally and rightly as he could. He wrote out his reviews of his students, their strengths and weaknesses, the best way for who ever would replace him to facilitate the transition efficiently and with the least trauma bore his total concentration. Soon, this task was complete, too.

Charles picked up the phone and called campus security to request assistance moving files out of his office to his vehicle. Clarence Dobbins was on that night. He and Charles had been friends since before Charlie had even been enrolled at Cal Sci as a student. Back when he just liked to ride his bike over here as a child and soak in the ambiance of these hallowed halls of learning as an interested, hopeful child prodigy.

It seemed right it would be Clarence who would see him out, for it was Clarence with whom he had first connected. When the knock came at his office door, Charlie hurried to unlock it and let his old friend in.

"Well, well, Professor Eppes, how's it….What the? Are uou going some place, son?"

"Yes, Clarence. If you don't mind, I would just like to get this done as quickly as possible."

Clarence responded by pulling in the three trolleys that were connected together like a small train to bear the boxes outside without further comment. Charles and the older black man worked in calm, silence - getting the boxes on to the carts and secured. Charlie set the archive boxes with the student papers in them on top, with the packet containing his resignation on top of it.

Clarence caught sight of the official address on the envelope and his mouth fell open in disbelief. "Why, Professor, is that what I think it is?"

"It is, Clarence."

"Do you want to talk this out first?"

"No need. It is finished already. Oh, wait. "Charlie opened one of the boxes with a pocket knife he kept in his pants and withdrew from it several of his awards and official recognitions given him in his post here over the years. He placed them under the letter. "Let's stop by Administration. I want to leave these on the department chairs desk, so she will receive them first thing in the morning."

"Very well, Charles. I know you must feel this is your only recourse. " Clarence could not keep the tremor of sorrow from his voice.

"If I am to keep my sense of integrity intact, it is the only possible action I can take. No worries, Clarence. I am fine with this."

"This place just won't seem the same with out you, Charlie. You have been a constant here for so long."

"Perhaps too long, my friend, perhaps too long. Stay in one place too long and you start to rust. Didn't you tell me that, the first time we met?"

"As I recall, I did indeed. I never thought this would happen though."

"Really, don't worry. You know where I live. My door will always be open to you. Don't neglect to visit me, will you, my friend."

Clarence scrubbed at his right eye, muttering. "Darn allergies."

Charlie grinned. "Yeah, spring winds can really blow that pollen in, can't they? We need that rain they keep telling us may come to wash the pollen down."

"Well, I am with you there. Okay. Next stop, administration. Care for one last ride?"

Charlie grinned and grabbed the back carts handle, expertly slipping his foot under the boxes so he was off the ground. "Thought you'd never ask."

"Here we go."

"Whoo-hoo." Charlie made the sound of railroad whistle as they scuttled off down the halls.

When they arrived at the office of Dr. French, Charlie took the boxes he was leaving for her in his hands and waited patiently while Clarence used his master key to gain entry. He followed the older man in, arranged the boxes on the floor next to the desk, the awards he lay face down on the desk top and the letter he carefully centered above those awards.

"Those awards are yours, Charlie. Shouldn't you keep them?"

"They are an honor to this school as well, Clarence. They belong here."

"On to your personal mode of transportation?"

"Thank you, yes. I just hope I can fit this all in."

"Oh, you are a pretty good hand at spatial analysis there, boss. I think you can handle it. You know I'll gladly help you with it."

"I appreciate that, my friend."

It took surprisingly little time to pack the things in his compact blue Prius. When it was done, he shook the hand Clarence offered him, but took it a step further after and pulled the man in for a quick fierce hug.

"I think I will miss you, most of all." Charlie acknowledged. "Let's make a date. I am going out of town tonight for a couple of weeks to decompress. Two weeks from Sunday, please be at my place promptly at 8 pm. I'll have the light on for you."

"That's a date, Charles. It has always been an honor knowing you, Professor."

Charlie shook his head. "No, not professor, not any more. It's just plain Charlie now, Clarence. As it was back in the beginning."

"Charles Edward Eppes, you have NEVER been just plain any thing. No chance you will be back?"

"None. This bird has flown. See you in two weeks, Clarence."

"I will be there, Charlie."

"Good night." Charlie handed the man his security identification, keys and such paraphernalia of modern academic reality.

He watched as his friend slowly made his way back towards the security office. This should make for an interesting log entry on tonight's ledger.

The thought made a smile dance on his lips. Charlie looked up into the starry sky. It was a cool crisp night. The early morning false dawn had already begun to streak the sky above. He felt no regret…only lingering peace and relief. This chapter of his life was over. Time to move on. He'd call Amita later and explain what he had done.

After that, he was turning off his cell phone and shutting down all other means of being reached. He was heading up to the mountains to rest and recover his balance and focus once he had squirreled his boxes away in the garage. Good thing that Dad and Don were both out of town, as he would not have to take time to explain all that had happened to bring this decision about. He could get his things put away…do some spring cleaning about the house…pack and get a little rest before he would head out. Mount Baldy and hiking boots, here I come. Again, an easy grin lit his face. Now that the decision was made and acted on, he was excited to move into the rest of his life. This phase was done.

Adventures…look out. He thought with glee. Here comes Charlie…..

And so it was….there was both an end….and a new beginning


End file.
